The Sunset Samurai (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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heroicrecords2018-11-21 10:09 pm
atma) wrote in heroicrecords2018-11-21 10:09 pm
Valkyrie Weapon 7 - 2K18
CW actually makes sense on this chapter
WC: 30216/50000
The closer we got to the edge of the map, the less nothing we saw. This was it. The end of Femrysca. Her ass and thigh quarter piece bucket meal kind of deal. The bottom of the bucket even. Nothing but a bit of sand swirled around as we sat, covering our eyes and faces, looking around for a sign of anything. Anyone. Was this someone’s home? Was it once? Was it wiped out or was there form yet to be here?
Or maybe it was just a shitty desert. At least there hadn’t been a water or ice level like we’d dreaded, but those stupid “walk a specific line until you reach The Place” things were almost as bad.
That is, until it had turned out I’d had the map upside down. For fuck’s sake it’s hard to read in these kinds of conditions. You can’t blame a hero for trying.
Once we actually had it up, the path was fairly straightforward, probably the only straight thing about this place and this story. Upon us came all sorts of barricades and sandbags, with tents lining the immediate area, and beyond that was weapons testing ranges, everything from punching and weapons dummies to archery and guns and even a whole area meant for things like bombs. As in dropping them from above. You name it, remnants of it were here. There was one tent nicer than the others, in a more red color instead of the drab brownish green the others had, with a long opening almost like the military equivalent of a red carpet.
Nobody seemed to be around, and we had peered into every other tent fist just in case. Nothing but sleeping bags and such were in each one, as if someone had been waiting for us here. You never know. Those fucking mysterious message traveling NPCs get places fast and to places you’d never expect. You think they’d send one out for me regarding the situation at Pander’s castle but nope, heroes need to earn it or something so it sounds cooler later when a bard’s retelling everything to a bunch of rowdy drunkards like it was some kind of fantasy UFC fight night.
So we decided to try “knocking” and going into the red tent. And wouldn’t you know it, but a familiar face was sitting on a small throne, surrounded by gun racks and holding her sheathed sword in one hand, the tip on the ground, pulling the handle out idly over and over as she whistled and grinned. It was a smile I was quite familiar with, bright and white and wide, eyebrows furrowed but in a way that expressed an energy and aura of something a bit more than a desire to scream or punch you in the face. Her eyes were short and sharp as she got her head up off her other hand, balled up in a fist, and sat up straight looking at me. Clad all in red and black with gold accouterments, this woman would be.
Well.
“Hey sis.” she chuckled.
“Oh, fuck you, Nobu.” I scoffed. “I knocked and you didn’t say a thing? I was about to leave this place for abandoned and come back at night since that works sometimes! Though, you know, I never really noticed if it turned night or not while we were out in the other towns, save for when I was orgying it up.”
“That’s not a real word.” Miri chimed in.
“Fuck you too, Miri,”
“You wish. Pbbt.”
I turned back to this woman and sighed. “The hell are you of all people doing here, sis?”
Yeah. This was my sister. On a technicality, yeah, but a sister is a sister whether I wanted to admit it or not. Mostly because of the sexual tension between us. I’d say unresolved but really, it was resolved between us. Quite frequently. In many different ways.
“I’m playing general again! But not like those small time guys you’ve been kicking the crap out of. You know me. I almost unified Japan in my sleep!” Nobu squeaked at us.
“Yeah yeah. So let me guess, you’re here for… something related to me being the Valkyrie Weapon or something, right?” I took the shield from this form and used it to prop up against, sighing as I felt my will beginning to melt a little bit.
“Yup. Pander’s up to something; he’s been unusually quiet. Sometimes some of his goons come up from the southern mountain paths to try to raid my supplies, but a quick firing off my special techniques sends them packing.”
“And you’re planning?”
Nobu stood up and looked at me, eye to eye. We were the same height and you can tell it helped fuel things like competitiveness and hornyness between us. She ruffled my hair and scoffed at my outfit.
“Nice shield. Know how to use it?” she asked.
“Of course I do, I’m the Va--”
Before I could continue, she’d taken my shield and drew her katana holding both to me pointedly.
“No. No you don’t. I’m here to whip you all into shape. Now’s the time to be raising armies and singing battle cries, woman!” Nobu picked me up by the hand and gave me my shield back. “You all need boot camp.”
“How long do you figure this will take?” I sighed.
“Well, given how disproportionately quiet Pander is, provided the raids stay at the barely existing pace they’re at now, I’d say about a month? That’ll get you all ripped and trained in skill enough to be able to inspire any woman to join your crew!”
“A month? Out here?”
“Don’t worry, I actually have a few women here trained to go out to the other towns and come back using secret routes north to keep us and our weapons both fed, though I hope for our sakes that the only one of you that will be spewing is the guns.”
The girls all kind of sat, looking shocked. Nobu raised an eyebrow and then smiled another toothy grin.
“Sup, bitches? I’m Nobunaga, your heroine’s sister. I’m also a bigger, badder, blacker motherfucker than any of you and by the time I’m done taming you, you’ll be beasts I can command across the battlefield, your dogs of war serving you well!”
I just looked at my sister and cracked up.
“Blacker? The hell you been listening to, girl?”
“Ain’t nothing you don’t, don’t front, sis.”
It continued like this a while until we got into a play fight that went all across the tent. You could tell this was just our way of talking it out.
“Rest here for the day and we’ll get you started at the crack of dawn. You like that, don’t you sis?”
“Aww, shut up.”
“Never.” Nobu then turned back to my girls and took her cap off and placed it over her heart. “I bid thee welcome to the Deflowered Frontier. I hope you enjoy your stay.”
And with that, we went and got ourselves comfortable, and I found that a tent had been set aside especially for me, and I sat my stuff down, having left most of the actual inventory with Miri and Bi, you know, the ones willing to haul massive amounts of crap around. I’m the goddamn protagonist, I shouldn’t have to be doing that kind of work. I sighed and sat down on the rather old looking cot that she gave me. Oh boy, what royal treatment to be given that when everyone else had a bag.
I peeled back the rather itchy looking blankets only to reveal Nobu had set up a series of lewd lithographs of herself, autographed lovingly with messages like “To my biggest fan” and “I hope this makes you want to cock my firing pin and unload in your mouth” and “Sisfucker. Love you anyways.”
I didn’t know whether to be honored or not, you know, until a sudden bulge in my pants told me otherwise.
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” I groaned. I knew since this was basically porn world I was, well, screwed, and not in the way that I wanted to be. My magical Valkyrie dick just kept going up and up until I closed my tent up nice and night, zipping it up, and sitting on the edge of the cot and getting to work over those photos.
It’d not been but earlier I was fooling with the guards over at Queendom, I dunno how this thing kept reloading so much and so fast but it did, and when it blew it blew harder than even when it was ass deep or snatch deep. I didn’t know if I loved it or hated it, but it sedated me until dinner.
Which, yeah, food. The smell of food got me up and I found Nobu and the others laughing and joking around a massive pot of soup cooking on a roaring campfire. She had served everyone up a bowl of that and a big thing of tea. Always with the tea.
I looked at her and yawned, pretending like nothing happened and took my seat, willingly waiting for a bite.
“Hey sis. Can I get some of whatever this is? It smells great.” I asked.
“Nope.” Nobu grinned slyly. “Not until you tell everyone how hard you blew your load thinking of me.”
“I… I did no such thing!” My face was crimson, flush and ripe.
“Yeah you did.” she pointed at my hand and loincloth. “Sticky, sticky, so why don’t you fess up? You need food for energy for training, right?”
“Whatever, you fucking pervert.”
“Takes one to know one!”
I groaned and ashamedly recounted the sordid tale and exactly what kind of nudes I saw and what lurid fantasies I was having, making a couple of the girls get up and go to their tent to relieve themselves too before coming back for more. Nobu was in hysterics laughing as if this was the funniest thing she ever saw in her life.
“Okay, okay, you got ‘em good, you earned your food!” Nobu served me up and just sat back, smiling. “Gotta tease you to keep you in check, after all.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah I know that’s what you just described.”
It was going to be a long, long training session out here in the Deflowered Frontier, but we really had no choice. The training would make us hearty and hale and the ability to command an army myself would be nice. It was about time I was getting some serious end game level of power.
The next day started like any other here; dry, warm, stagnant outside the winds raging around the border. I got out of my tent and stretched, seeing the other girls already in formation and doing conditioning exercises.
“You’re late.” Nobu smiled as she set me in place. “You owe me 50 extra.”
“You’re not my master!”
“You just wish I was!”
Every day started like this. I’d sleep in, she’d tease, we’d get sweaty and toned, and then we would proceed to beat, stab, slash, hack, chop, shoot, pierce, smash training targets, you name it, we did it, we verbed it good. We would pick our weapons and begin to practice with them, gaining a competency in each before moving on to every single one laid out here.
Yes, even the bombs from the sky. We were quite unsure where these were coming from, but she assured me knowledge of this may be necessary someday. Like when am I ever going to use this? When a dragon tries to drop a nuke on us or something? Though, wow, that’d be a pretty cool sight to see. But explosions rang off, girls yelled as they hit targets and dealt with the recoil, and after a while, a couple would devolve into wrestling, which we’d get horny and place bets on who could disrobe who first. Every single possible skill of ours was being trained, especially me one on one with Nobu.
Before we knew it, half our time here had passed and the routine had settled in like clockwork. We were beginning to retain muscle memory.
Nobu came in with some tea and sat with me, her tone serious for once. “Hey. I found some of that weird material Pander’s been using out here off one of his goons, I’m going to have Miri and Cassie analyze it, and you and I will be fighting almost exclusively one on one from here on. The other girls will be fine, but you? You’re special.”
“Apparently I am according to everyone here.” I grinned.
“Well out here there’s not a whole lot to do. So I’ve been reading any books I can find and in a lot of the oldest Femryscan ones is a tale of a heroine whom will come forth and be able to combine her rainbow powers into… well, that I wouldn’t know since it sounded like gibberish to me.” my sister motioned vaguely at me. “Come now, let’s fight while they study.”
A couple days before our month of training here ended, Nobu woke me up early and brought me into the main research tent where a table had been set up and Cassie and Miri had a jar of the dark energy and materials sealed up in a jar. They were grinning rare smiles as they looked at me. Nobu just pat me on the back and said “This is going to blow your mind, trust me.”
“So, we got good news and bad news.” Cassie began.
“Okay, what’s the good news? That you figured out Blue’s Clues? Because you’re really smart?” I giggled.
Miri slapped me in the back of the head and went pbbt again. “Eyy, knock that off. But yes. We now know something very important about Pander’s dark matter and energy source. Besides that it reacts very poorly and violently when mixed with anything off Lesbifrost, which explains why those goons of him were breaking so easily and exploding so hard. Something about the two hate each other.”
“So what’s the bad news? I can’t glitch it out to get around it or anything?” I was actually being half serious. That’d save us all so much work.
“Well, I dunno how to break this to you other than to break it to you.” Cassie began. “But… Well, the best way I can put this is that this material is not native to Femrysca. Nor of anywhere else recorded in this world. No other continents or islands contain even a trace of anything close to the composition of this stuff.”
“So you’re saying...” the gears in my mind slowly turned and clicked into place after a minute. “That this stuff’s not from this planet? It’s from space or something? Are you fucking kidding me right now? This is the last kind of jump in scale and grandeur I need!”
Yeah, turns out I hit it right on the head. But this meant one further thing.
“...This would imply that Pander isn’t from around here, so to speak? He’s from space or something and he got put here to be an evil shitbag overlord of men for who knew what reason?”
Now the fun part was we had no idea anything about what kind of place Pander might be from or from whence he came. Which would also prove fighting and overcoming him difficult. Not that I minded a cool challenge, especially one that would make me look cool in front of all of these babes, but space with his weirdass space rock and space magic as it turned out to be wasn’t one I was quite prepared to hear or deal with.
“So...” I sighed. “Given how much Lesbifrost reacts to this thing..”
“It would appear that it’s the natural opposite of whatever your weapon is. Yours was gifted to you by the goddesses themselves, which is highly unusual they wouldn’t know, let alone join. So it’s technically not of this planet either, in a way. It’s why you can fight him and not worry about exhausting or not being his equal in speed or strength. It was just how I acted when posteuring in front of a bunch of hot women.
“Crazy shit isn’t it sis?” Nobu laughed. “Ahaha, you got to fight some kind of space overlord!”
“Shut up, this is serious!”
“Yeah, I know it is! That’s why the girls have already hatched a plan. In a few days, we’ll be packing up and leaving back towards his castle, on the blocked end of Tightquiver you couldn’t access before. As for the rest of it, they’re coming up with a battle plan rapidly, and I trust them on this one. You got you some good women on you, ya know?” Nobu smiled again. “Besides, I thought you were going to raise an army? What better way than back through where we came and pick up all these guards and farmers and such you’ve undoubtedly been knocking boots with, eh?”
“S-Shut up...”
“Besides, I already named it and made us a flag.” Nobu held up a giant crimson banner with a massive pair of labrys axes on it and smiled. “We’re the Women’s Liberation Army of the Fylgjan Amazons now! And don’t you forget it!”
As soon as she said that, all the girls across camp, including me, felt a glow. This was a big, important level up.
I unlocked my final weapon, Rainbow Bridge – Tanegashima, and swapped into it. Suddenly, I was holding a massive Nobunaga style rifle and was dressed like a samurai in a straw hat, ready to take aim and end things. Sort of like my original outfit only without any valkyrie flair to it. Hoshigiri, my own sword, was at my side in this form, but her spirit resided mostly in this gun.
Cassie gained Recipe – Mysterious Potion X, a potent brew with a random assortment of trouble for the recipients. Anthy gained Big In Japan, which gave us a random assortment of buffs. Miri gained Meatgrinder, which did big damage and could cause paralysis. The Big Bi gained Ultimo Tope Patada, a move she learned from a famous Aztec wrestling queen. Ally gained O Holy Wreath, which gave us all a free revive with small heal attached.
Nobu joined the party, along with a set of seven different trick shots that would target different kinds of enemies for more damage.
And that was that, my party was full up on skills and levels.
Except me. There still lay one skill left untouched.
Grayed out on my menu was a skill called Rainbow Bridge - ???????? and you couldn’t pay me to tell what that meant at the time.
With all that said and done, it was time to get some rest before we began waving the Women’s Liberation flag around.
Little did we know Pander was sending small amounts of goons to each town to try to off anyone I might recruit, keeping things more interesting. I’d almost admire it if it weren’t, you know, trying to kill us.
And then I lay me down to sleep.
Because tomorrow begins one of the biggest days of our lives.
WC: 30216/50000
The closer we got to the edge of the map, the less nothing we saw. This was it. The end of Femrysca. Her ass and thigh quarter piece bucket meal kind of deal. The bottom of the bucket even. Nothing but a bit of sand swirled around as we sat, covering our eyes and faces, looking around for a sign of anything. Anyone. Was this someone’s home? Was it once? Was it wiped out or was there form yet to be here?
Or maybe it was just a shitty desert. At least there hadn’t been a water or ice level like we’d dreaded, but those stupid “walk a specific line until you reach The Place” things were almost as bad.
That is, until it had turned out I’d had the map upside down. For fuck’s sake it’s hard to read in these kinds of conditions. You can’t blame a hero for trying.
Once we actually had it up, the path was fairly straightforward, probably the only straight thing about this place and this story. Upon us came all sorts of barricades and sandbags, with tents lining the immediate area, and beyond that was weapons testing ranges, everything from punching and weapons dummies to archery and guns and even a whole area meant for things like bombs. As in dropping them from above. You name it, remnants of it were here. There was one tent nicer than the others, in a more red color instead of the drab brownish green the others had, with a long opening almost like the military equivalent of a red carpet.
Nobody seemed to be around, and we had peered into every other tent fist just in case. Nothing but sleeping bags and such were in each one, as if someone had been waiting for us here. You never know. Those fucking mysterious message traveling NPCs get places fast and to places you’d never expect. You think they’d send one out for me regarding the situation at Pander’s castle but nope, heroes need to earn it or something so it sounds cooler later when a bard’s retelling everything to a bunch of rowdy drunkards like it was some kind of fantasy UFC fight night.
So we decided to try “knocking” and going into the red tent. And wouldn’t you know it, but a familiar face was sitting on a small throne, surrounded by gun racks and holding her sheathed sword in one hand, the tip on the ground, pulling the handle out idly over and over as she whistled and grinned. It was a smile I was quite familiar with, bright and white and wide, eyebrows furrowed but in a way that expressed an energy and aura of something a bit more than a desire to scream or punch you in the face. Her eyes were short and sharp as she got her head up off her other hand, balled up in a fist, and sat up straight looking at me. Clad all in red and black with gold accouterments, this woman would be.
Well.
“Hey sis.” she chuckled.
“Oh, fuck you, Nobu.” I scoffed. “I knocked and you didn’t say a thing? I was about to leave this place for abandoned and come back at night since that works sometimes! Though, you know, I never really noticed if it turned night or not while we were out in the other towns, save for when I was orgying it up.”
“That’s not a real word.” Miri chimed in.
“Fuck you too, Miri,”
“You wish. Pbbt.”
I turned back to this woman and sighed. “The hell are you of all people doing here, sis?”
Yeah. This was my sister. On a technicality, yeah, but a sister is a sister whether I wanted to admit it or not. Mostly because of the sexual tension between us. I’d say unresolved but really, it was resolved between us. Quite frequently. In many different ways.
“I’m playing general again! But not like those small time guys you’ve been kicking the crap out of. You know me. I almost unified Japan in my sleep!” Nobu squeaked at us.
“Yeah yeah. So let me guess, you’re here for… something related to me being the Valkyrie Weapon or something, right?” I took the shield from this form and used it to prop up against, sighing as I felt my will beginning to melt a little bit.
“Yup. Pander’s up to something; he’s been unusually quiet. Sometimes some of his goons come up from the southern mountain paths to try to raid my supplies, but a quick firing off my special techniques sends them packing.”
“And you’re planning?”
Nobu stood up and looked at me, eye to eye. We were the same height and you can tell it helped fuel things like competitiveness and hornyness between us. She ruffled my hair and scoffed at my outfit.
“Nice shield. Know how to use it?” she asked.
“Of course I do, I’m the Va--”
Before I could continue, she’d taken my shield and drew her katana holding both to me pointedly.
“No. No you don’t. I’m here to whip you all into shape. Now’s the time to be raising armies and singing battle cries, woman!” Nobu picked me up by the hand and gave me my shield back. “You all need boot camp.”
“How long do you figure this will take?” I sighed.
“Well, given how disproportionately quiet Pander is, provided the raids stay at the barely existing pace they’re at now, I’d say about a month? That’ll get you all ripped and trained in skill enough to be able to inspire any woman to join your crew!”
“A month? Out here?”
“Don’t worry, I actually have a few women here trained to go out to the other towns and come back using secret routes north to keep us and our weapons both fed, though I hope for our sakes that the only one of you that will be spewing is the guns.”
The girls all kind of sat, looking shocked. Nobu raised an eyebrow and then smiled another toothy grin.
“Sup, bitches? I’m Nobunaga, your heroine’s sister. I’m also a bigger, badder, blacker motherfucker than any of you and by the time I’m done taming you, you’ll be beasts I can command across the battlefield, your dogs of war serving you well!”
I just looked at my sister and cracked up.
“Blacker? The hell you been listening to, girl?”
“Ain’t nothing you don’t, don’t front, sis.”
It continued like this a while until we got into a play fight that went all across the tent. You could tell this was just our way of talking it out.
“Rest here for the day and we’ll get you started at the crack of dawn. You like that, don’t you sis?”
“Aww, shut up.”
“Never.” Nobu then turned back to my girls and took her cap off and placed it over her heart. “I bid thee welcome to the Deflowered Frontier. I hope you enjoy your stay.”
And with that, we went and got ourselves comfortable, and I found that a tent had been set aside especially for me, and I sat my stuff down, having left most of the actual inventory with Miri and Bi, you know, the ones willing to haul massive amounts of crap around. I’m the goddamn protagonist, I shouldn’t have to be doing that kind of work. I sighed and sat down on the rather old looking cot that she gave me. Oh boy, what royal treatment to be given that when everyone else had a bag.
I peeled back the rather itchy looking blankets only to reveal Nobu had set up a series of lewd lithographs of herself, autographed lovingly with messages like “To my biggest fan” and “I hope this makes you want to cock my firing pin and unload in your mouth” and “Sisfucker. Love you anyways.”
I didn’t know whether to be honored or not, you know, until a sudden bulge in my pants told me otherwise.
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” I groaned. I knew since this was basically porn world I was, well, screwed, and not in the way that I wanted to be. My magical Valkyrie dick just kept going up and up until I closed my tent up nice and night, zipping it up, and sitting on the edge of the cot and getting to work over those photos.
It’d not been but earlier I was fooling with the guards over at Queendom, I dunno how this thing kept reloading so much and so fast but it did, and when it blew it blew harder than even when it was ass deep or snatch deep. I didn’t know if I loved it or hated it, but it sedated me until dinner.
Which, yeah, food. The smell of food got me up and I found Nobu and the others laughing and joking around a massive pot of soup cooking on a roaring campfire. She had served everyone up a bowl of that and a big thing of tea. Always with the tea.
I looked at her and yawned, pretending like nothing happened and took my seat, willingly waiting for a bite.
“Hey sis. Can I get some of whatever this is? It smells great.” I asked.
“Nope.” Nobu grinned slyly. “Not until you tell everyone how hard you blew your load thinking of me.”
“I… I did no such thing!” My face was crimson, flush and ripe.
“Yeah you did.” she pointed at my hand and loincloth. “Sticky, sticky, so why don’t you fess up? You need food for energy for training, right?”
“Whatever, you fucking pervert.”
“Takes one to know one!”
I groaned and ashamedly recounted the sordid tale and exactly what kind of nudes I saw and what lurid fantasies I was having, making a couple of the girls get up and go to their tent to relieve themselves too before coming back for more. Nobu was in hysterics laughing as if this was the funniest thing she ever saw in her life.
“Okay, okay, you got ‘em good, you earned your food!” Nobu served me up and just sat back, smiling. “Gotta tease you to keep you in check, after all.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah I know that’s what you just described.”
It was going to be a long, long training session out here in the Deflowered Frontier, but we really had no choice. The training would make us hearty and hale and the ability to command an army myself would be nice. It was about time I was getting some serious end game level of power.
The next day started like any other here; dry, warm, stagnant outside the winds raging around the border. I got out of my tent and stretched, seeing the other girls already in formation and doing conditioning exercises.
“You’re late.” Nobu smiled as she set me in place. “You owe me 50 extra.”
“You’re not my master!”
“You just wish I was!”
Every day started like this. I’d sleep in, she’d tease, we’d get sweaty and toned, and then we would proceed to beat, stab, slash, hack, chop, shoot, pierce, smash training targets, you name it, we did it, we verbed it good. We would pick our weapons and begin to practice with them, gaining a competency in each before moving on to every single one laid out here.
Yes, even the bombs from the sky. We were quite unsure where these were coming from, but she assured me knowledge of this may be necessary someday. Like when am I ever going to use this? When a dragon tries to drop a nuke on us or something? Though, wow, that’d be a pretty cool sight to see. But explosions rang off, girls yelled as they hit targets and dealt with the recoil, and after a while, a couple would devolve into wrestling, which we’d get horny and place bets on who could disrobe who first. Every single possible skill of ours was being trained, especially me one on one with Nobu.
Before we knew it, half our time here had passed and the routine had settled in like clockwork. We were beginning to retain muscle memory.
Nobu came in with some tea and sat with me, her tone serious for once. “Hey. I found some of that weird material Pander’s been using out here off one of his goons, I’m going to have Miri and Cassie analyze it, and you and I will be fighting almost exclusively one on one from here on. The other girls will be fine, but you? You’re special.”
“Apparently I am according to everyone here.” I grinned.
“Well out here there’s not a whole lot to do. So I’ve been reading any books I can find and in a lot of the oldest Femryscan ones is a tale of a heroine whom will come forth and be able to combine her rainbow powers into… well, that I wouldn’t know since it sounded like gibberish to me.” my sister motioned vaguely at me. “Come now, let’s fight while they study.”
A couple days before our month of training here ended, Nobu woke me up early and brought me into the main research tent where a table had been set up and Cassie and Miri had a jar of the dark energy and materials sealed up in a jar. They were grinning rare smiles as they looked at me. Nobu just pat me on the back and said “This is going to blow your mind, trust me.”
“So, we got good news and bad news.” Cassie began.
“Okay, what’s the good news? That you figured out Blue’s Clues? Because you’re really smart?” I giggled.
Miri slapped me in the back of the head and went pbbt again. “Eyy, knock that off. But yes. We now know something very important about Pander’s dark matter and energy source. Besides that it reacts very poorly and violently when mixed with anything off Lesbifrost, which explains why those goons of him were breaking so easily and exploding so hard. Something about the two hate each other.”
“So what’s the bad news? I can’t glitch it out to get around it or anything?” I was actually being half serious. That’d save us all so much work.
“Well, I dunno how to break this to you other than to break it to you.” Cassie began. “But… Well, the best way I can put this is that this material is not native to Femrysca. Nor of anywhere else recorded in this world. No other continents or islands contain even a trace of anything close to the composition of this stuff.”
“So you’re saying...” the gears in my mind slowly turned and clicked into place after a minute. “That this stuff’s not from this planet? It’s from space or something? Are you fucking kidding me right now? This is the last kind of jump in scale and grandeur I need!”
Yeah, turns out I hit it right on the head. But this meant one further thing.
“...This would imply that Pander isn’t from around here, so to speak? He’s from space or something and he got put here to be an evil shitbag overlord of men for who knew what reason?”
Now the fun part was we had no idea anything about what kind of place Pander might be from or from whence he came. Which would also prove fighting and overcoming him difficult. Not that I minded a cool challenge, especially one that would make me look cool in front of all of these babes, but space with his weirdass space rock and space magic as it turned out to be wasn’t one I was quite prepared to hear or deal with.
“So...” I sighed. “Given how much Lesbifrost reacts to this thing..”
“It would appear that it’s the natural opposite of whatever your weapon is. Yours was gifted to you by the goddesses themselves, which is highly unusual they wouldn’t know, let alone join. So it’s technically not of this planet either, in a way. It’s why you can fight him and not worry about exhausting or not being his equal in speed or strength. It was just how I acted when posteuring in front of a bunch of hot women.
“Crazy shit isn’t it sis?” Nobu laughed. “Ahaha, you got to fight some kind of space overlord!”
“Shut up, this is serious!”
“Yeah, I know it is! That’s why the girls have already hatched a plan. In a few days, we’ll be packing up and leaving back towards his castle, on the blocked end of Tightquiver you couldn’t access before. As for the rest of it, they’re coming up with a battle plan rapidly, and I trust them on this one. You got you some good women on you, ya know?” Nobu smiled again. “Besides, I thought you were going to raise an army? What better way than back through where we came and pick up all these guards and farmers and such you’ve undoubtedly been knocking boots with, eh?”
“S-Shut up...”
“Besides, I already named it and made us a flag.” Nobu held up a giant crimson banner with a massive pair of labrys axes on it and smiled. “We’re the Women’s Liberation Army of the Fylgjan Amazons now! And don’t you forget it!”
As soon as she said that, all the girls across camp, including me, felt a glow. This was a big, important level up.
I unlocked my final weapon, Rainbow Bridge – Tanegashima, and swapped into it. Suddenly, I was holding a massive Nobunaga style rifle and was dressed like a samurai in a straw hat, ready to take aim and end things. Sort of like my original outfit only without any valkyrie flair to it. Hoshigiri, my own sword, was at my side in this form, but her spirit resided mostly in this gun.
Cassie gained Recipe – Mysterious Potion X, a potent brew with a random assortment of trouble for the recipients. Anthy gained Big In Japan, which gave us a random assortment of buffs. Miri gained Meatgrinder, which did big damage and could cause paralysis. The Big Bi gained Ultimo Tope Patada, a move she learned from a famous Aztec wrestling queen. Ally gained O Holy Wreath, which gave us all a free revive with small heal attached.
Nobu joined the party, along with a set of seven different trick shots that would target different kinds of enemies for more damage.
And that was that, my party was full up on skills and levels.
Except me. There still lay one skill left untouched.
Grayed out on my menu was a skill called Rainbow Bridge - ???????? and you couldn’t pay me to tell what that meant at the time.
With all that said and done, it was time to get some rest before we began waving the Women’s Liberation flag around.
Little did we know Pander was sending small amounts of goons to each town to try to off anyone I might recruit, keeping things more interesting. I’d almost admire it if it weren’t, you know, trying to kill us.
And then I lay me down to sleep.
Because tomorrow begins one of the biggest days of our lives.