Valkyrie Weapon 2 - 2K18
Nov. 5th, 2018 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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heroicrecordsPermanent explicit content warning continues.
WC: 5414/50000
I woke up at the crack of...you know? There was no real reasonable way for me to tell time just yet in this world. Did radios exist? Did clocks? Did people even know what time was? All I knew is it wasn’t the kind of crack this world probably wanted me to be waking up to, and you can take that joke either way you like, either way is probably equally likely at this point. But the sun was at least up and none of my belongings seemed to be missing, not that people tend to be able to take things from you at save points. Here, take my rainbow sword, cum pile, and enough starting Gold to buy yourself a soda but not a damn shield or anything. Which reminded me…
Yup, suspected as much. I looked into my own stat menu and saw it was filled on weapon and armor, figuring those get leveled on their own accord, and an empty slot for accessories. Not that I would expect any less, inventory wasn’t something these kinds of games were known for beyond the kind that would make your parents ashamed to know you have. If you wanted to crunch numbers, you’d probably get more out of an old calculator than you would something like this.
You sick fuck.
Either way, I left behind my cum pile on the ground, unsure how that would help and anything to lessen encumbrance. Look, it was a long day and I hadn’t gotten around to things in a while, alright? Things can get rather weighty at that point, especially when questionably named goddesses decide you need to just have a dick and spill it on the ground and impregnate the grass. If I come back to this spot and there’s flowers growing, I’m going to be pissed. Can flowers even sue for child support? I hope this place didn’t have a good court system. I’ll take my low amount of starting Gold and risk it at the even riskier named Tightquiver.
You know it had to be a beginner’s town since if this was a porn game, you’d know it by the fact a lot of the starting battles along the way there weren’t even sexy yet; that wouldn’t be for another dungeon or two outside of bosses. You had to earn it and prove you were dedicated to get the titty slimes instead of just the regular ones. I never got that, I came here for fucking, at least let me be honest and just unleash the titty slimes from right out of the gate, you cheap bastards.
After a handful of battles and cheap experience and even cheaper amounts of money, I found the edges of what must be Tightquiver, your basic looking low level town area for even regular JRPGs, with the little bit of agriculture, the one big windmill, and the how much of nothing about the threat to the world the townsfolk were aware of. You go in asking about this and the most anyone knows is something something but the local bandit cave is threatening the farmgirls here now and…
Wait, farmgirls? I stopped and took stock of the people in the horribly named town I was in and it hadn’t hit me until that random key plot point was spelled out for me just how much everyone in town was both a woman and a farmer. No men. Just me surrounded by lady kinds of all humanoid races in daisy dukes and southern drawls. Is it really southern though if that didn’t exist here? I suddenly deeply cared about what they had to say and their plight. Not that I’d ignore any woman’s plight, but it’s a bit easier when suddenly you feel like you need to find the properly named NPC girl that exists in these towns in these games and unlock the scene where you get to sleep with her.
I found the biggest house in the area and entered, going on in and looking at what happened to be a sun tanned elf with big barely covered tits and even smaller, tighter shorts, in a nice hat and blonde braids and freckles and ahh crap there goes that magic down below again. Not necessarily bulgy this time, but there was a definite feeling of destiny to be had between my plow and her field if you get my drift. It came as absolutely no surprise to me that she looked better and I would also have to earn it by kicking some brigand butt nearby. It’d be a cheap source of income too; I imagine all that leather these types like to wear was going completely to waste on something as gross as men. The resell value of stuff like that back to the farms, alongside their weapons and any other materials they had, alone would set me well for the beginning section of the game.
Remember, it ain’t stealing if you don’t get caught. Or you kick their asses first. And especially if they deserve it, which if you’re scaring women, let’s face it, you definitely deserve it.
“They’re out north around the path from the big fruit orchards and...” I was only half listening to the town boss, my eyes too busy looking at her cleavage and wondering when I could dig in, and just gave an overenthusiastic nod as I agreed to take these punks out and see if that earned me any sort of sowing my seed privileges around here. That’s why it came as absolutely no surprise to anyone that I got lost even on a simple dirt country road looking for these stupid assholes.
Look, I saw tan titties and I was going to fuck them before sundown, so if they would just show themselves…
That was a great idea, self! I started shouting so maybe they’d come to me, throwing out various vague comments about dick size and how mine’s bigger (I hadn’t actually gotten a good look at myself yet, having been desperate to just rest earlier, but being the protagonist I assured myself I must be the biggest in the game, right? Nobody’s allowed to be more endowed than the hero, after all) and you couldn’t fuck a woman with that thing even if she were more shallow than a raindrop and…
Nothing. Of course. I sighed and scratched my head. Something was really wrong with this. Or I was being railroaded, and not in the fun way I wish that elf back at the village would do to me. Tightquiver, I’ll bet, we’ll see how that is when I show her proof I’d killed every single last one of these cowardly bastards. If this Overlord was even half what the goddess said, what need did they have to be threatening women anyhow? Aren’t they the ones in charge? Couldn’t they just come in and, you know, Bad Things happening? Or did they know I was coming? Surely I’d yelled enough by now.
As I sat around thinking and sighing and opening my menu and back again after realizing no map item existed in my inventory yet, not even a little guide one in the corner, wanting to kick myself in my magic balls for not paying more attention to what she was saying than what she was sporting, I heard a distant voice shout at me.
“Nice ass, stud.”
I was almost about to take umbrage at this, almost, because when you’re trying to kill someone to get laid the last thing you want is a distraction, even if you would agree normally you got a pretty great ass, squats with weights in armor will give you one that could choke out a goddess, when I went to turn around and yell.
“And how would you know?” I shouted back.
“It’s sticking out! I can see your loincloth thong but otherwise it’s all loose and hanging. What, finally decide to give up pants for the New Year or something? I would have thought you’d wait for me first or something.”
I put my hands on my own ass, and sure enough, those idiot horny goddesses forgot to give me any sort of real leg protection outside of my pretty kickass looking greaves. It was that and then bare thigh and ass up to my loincloth tie and belt. I’d ask what this was for, but the fact it got spotted and called out on specifically was enough of an answer for me.
“Oh. So it is. Was wondering why my Brisket was feeling a tad frosty.”
“It’s past noon, Atma, unless you’ve been sitting on ice to make sure you don’t sleep with anyone on the first date, which would shame me deeply to know you’ve started such a thing up, I dunno why it’d be anything but hot as hell.”
Wait, it took me a bit, but after processing what I was hearing, I turned around, my brain finally managing to put two and two together, one two being the voice, and the other two being the attitude, and piecing together that mayhap I am not the only one I knew to be called upon to save the land of Femrysca from whatever happy funtime magical JRPG bullshit was happening now.
“Samantha?”
“Yeah, stud.”
“No wonder you knew my name. And won’t stop staring.”
“Wait until you see me, though. I mean, clearly this world did something to you to make you look important, but, well...”
I finally stopped and gave her a good look. I knew her as one of my tallest girlfriends in reality, but here? I thought I was joking by calling her an ogre sometimes. She was now an actual oni, guitar on her back, though I didn’t know that oni were fond of denim and basic band tshirts. I had to wonder what kind of defensive value that was offering against my own, not that I had any room to talk with my enchanted ass hanging out in public. Is this why the NPCs in town couldn’t stop following me around? They not ever see a valkyrie before? Or is this beef just too juicy?
“The fuck? How come you get to be the oni and I’m stuck playing Bizarrely Racist 90s Japanese VHS Fansub Inspired Red Sonja?”
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”
“Whatever. So, did you wake up with three goddesses sticking their magic fingers up you and giving you any kind of magic genital bullshit or…?”
“If by that you mean it’s like getting free surgery or landing in a lady body since birth, definitely, though with you I know you mean that literally. What kind of goddess is this and where can we find them?”
“The sky, and hell no I’m not going back. They got me flustered, didn’t answer anything, gave me a sword and a dick and just told me to go beat up the Overlord.”
“Overlord?”
“Yeah apparently he’s making the men run rampant over all womankind and only I can stop him and bring happiness to women ever again because in reality I drank the most respect women juice, or something. Then they booted me down here and just expected me to find my way. Rude if you ask me. I hope I’m done with that part of this.”
“No you don’t.”
“I’m going to kick your ass, dear. Now, I’m looking for a damn bandit cave, you seen any suspicious holes in the side of anything hard lately? If I kick their asses, I can get severely laid by the town leader.”
“Heh, hard. And yeah, that’s just a bit further on. I woke up not too far from it myself. Shall we team up and kick them out and see if you can’t at least get me sloppy seconds, hero? Because if I’m not mistaken, you’re definitely dressed for the role and if the goddesses trust you that much, I clearly can’t be the protagonist.”
“Yeah, sure, welcome to the party, just don’t expect much in the way of inventory of Gold right now. Game’s as fucking stingy as any PlayStation era JRPG in giving me anything to start with.”
With that, Samantha, or as her menu listed her as, Anthy, joined my party. I immediately read her stat page and noted she didn’t have as much defense as me, but dressing casually sure gives you a nice speed bonus. I’m not sure that’s based on any actual applicable real science, or even any fake kind of science. Not that either of us were good at that topic, we’d need someone much smarter than that to explain it to us.
What we were good at though was clearing out mass amounts of random small mobs and bringing in enough money for not just one, but two potions at once! Wow, who won the fucking lottery around here? A couple level ups later lead us into the bandit cave, which was pretty sparse and basic in layout, as to be expected from both a low level hideout and from a bunch of single cishet dudes. Not a single one of them even had up a titty poster, because it turns out it’s really fucking hard to do that on a rock cave wall, even with that sticky poster backing stuff.
What they did have plenty of though is cheap shit to amass in a sell pile and all their armor and weapons to bring back to the women to arm themselves with instead of just flannel tops tied off under their tits and pitchforks. You think in this kind of game or story it’d be hoes they’d set up with, but we hope we go a bit more quality than that in our localization. You deserve better.
Apparently these guys hadn’t even really heard of the Overlord, just about his command to give mankind their “due” and whatnot and were trying to bank in on it, not knowing that someone like me would be along almost instantly to completely wreck their shit, because their shit is now my shit, so it’s better than their shit. Their leader, your usual fat, hairy, one-eyed bandit with a giant axe and scimitar and yawn this guy was already a bore to describe was easily enticed into battle not out of the fact we were women, but the fact I had the idea to flash him my magic cock and insult him with my size. What a dumb bastard.
For our first boss fight, we just took turns mashing on that attack command like we were going to mash on that town leader shortly after, and used a potion maybe twice, Anthy using her guitar like an oni’s club and me sticking with the basic sword form of Lesbifrost. Within a handful of turns, he was down and we amassed a much nicer sum of money. Inside of a chest in the back was the world map, and finally I could see a way out of here and back to town, doing one last sweep to make sure we hadn’t forgotten anything.
The walk back was much easier now that we could see the way back, even if it was almost directly south a bit, and I gave the town leader the bandit leader’s weapons and armor as proof of our victory, and left behind the other girls in town what else we had oh so kindly liberated off the other bandits we’d found and kicked the dicks in of.
And so came a hero’s reward, and suddenly in great, explicit detail, I could feel every inch of this farmgirl heavy against me as she took me to her barn for a literal roll in the hay, making me take my dick out and ride her like a bull. The town’s name finally made sense because, well, it was still early game, and unfortunately for me, scenes like this aren’t nearly as long or detailed as later game porn scenes were, and I blew my load rather early on, but she was quite satisfied anyways, my body sweaty and reeling from just how intense that felt.
Anthy made do with some of the other girls as I took my reward, me idling a bit to make it seem like I lasted much longer, until we were invited to join the leader in bed together and I gave away my bluff by cumming again far too early and easily, for which I would be given no end of shit of for days.
After that, I passed out relatively hard, and the save menu got booted up and I overwrote my file.
All in a day’s work. And a night’s. I felt oddly refreshed and healed the next morning, though, as I said goodbye to the girls and promised I’d return, because after all, you can take the girl out of the farm, but you can’t take the farm out of the girl.
Nor could you take the Weapon out of the girl, either, because I let Anthy pack up as I got one more ride in. Hey, I’m the hero, I’m allowed to pull stunts like this now and again as I pull hair and ride. Just right in front of her, as if I was being a horrible inconvenience.
“I’m right here, you know.”
“I know damn well you are, look, I get three scenes out of the same starting woman! Maybe this quest is going to be worth something yet.”
“Yeah, it’s going to be worth our savings in child support, you goddamn stud. Now come on, let’s get out of here, I actually cared to talk to some of these girls after instead of just passing out like the almost man you are and found out that the Overlord is setting his eyes on the city of Alchemists, Afrodisia, a day or two’s walk east of here.”
“Shit, really?”
“Yes really, I mean, if I was the badguy I’d probably want in on that, too.”
“I meant the name.”
“Oh, yeah, I didn’t believe it either but given the name of this place...”
“When this is all said and done, remind me to ask who in the fuck founded this country.”
With our meager savings on us and our file saved and levels up, we began the journey eastward to Afrodisia. I was already beginning to lose any sort of hope that anything had a sane and stable name around here.
Said the woman named Valkyrie Weapon.
WC: 5414/50000
I woke up at the crack of...you know? There was no real reasonable way for me to tell time just yet in this world. Did radios exist? Did clocks? Did people even know what time was? All I knew is it wasn’t the kind of crack this world probably wanted me to be waking up to, and you can take that joke either way you like, either way is probably equally likely at this point. But the sun was at least up and none of my belongings seemed to be missing, not that people tend to be able to take things from you at save points. Here, take my rainbow sword, cum pile, and enough starting Gold to buy yourself a soda but not a damn shield or anything. Which reminded me…
Yup, suspected as much. I looked into my own stat menu and saw it was filled on weapon and armor, figuring those get leveled on their own accord, and an empty slot for accessories. Not that I would expect any less, inventory wasn’t something these kinds of games were known for beyond the kind that would make your parents ashamed to know you have. If you wanted to crunch numbers, you’d probably get more out of an old calculator than you would something like this.
You sick fuck.
Either way, I left behind my cum pile on the ground, unsure how that would help and anything to lessen encumbrance. Look, it was a long day and I hadn’t gotten around to things in a while, alright? Things can get rather weighty at that point, especially when questionably named goddesses decide you need to just have a dick and spill it on the ground and impregnate the grass. If I come back to this spot and there’s flowers growing, I’m going to be pissed. Can flowers even sue for child support? I hope this place didn’t have a good court system. I’ll take my low amount of starting Gold and risk it at the even riskier named Tightquiver.
You know it had to be a beginner’s town since if this was a porn game, you’d know it by the fact a lot of the starting battles along the way there weren’t even sexy yet; that wouldn’t be for another dungeon or two outside of bosses. You had to earn it and prove you were dedicated to get the titty slimes instead of just the regular ones. I never got that, I came here for fucking, at least let me be honest and just unleash the titty slimes from right out of the gate, you cheap bastards.
After a handful of battles and cheap experience and even cheaper amounts of money, I found the edges of what must be Tightquiver, your basic looking low level town area for even regular JRPGs, with the little bit of agriculture, the one big windmill, and the how much of nothing about the threat to the world the townsfolk were aware of. You go in asking about this and the most anyone knows is something something but the local bandit cave is threatening the farmgirls here now and…
Wait, farmgirls? I stopped and took stock of the people in the horribly named town I was in and it hadn’t hit me until that random key plot point was spelled out for me just how much everyone in town was both a woman and a farmer. No men. Just me surrounded by lady kinds of all humanoid races in daisy dukes and southern drawls. Is it really southern though if that didn’t exist here? I suddenly deeply cared about what they had to say and their plight. Not that I’d ignore any woman’s plight, but it’s a bit easier when suddenly you feel like you need to find the properly named NPC girl that exists in these towns in these games and unlock the scene where you get to sleep with her.
I found the biggest house in the area and entered, going on in and looking at what happened to be a sun tanned elf with big barely covered tits and even smaller, tighter shorts, in a nice hat and blonde braids and freckles and ahh crap there goes that magic down below again. Not necessarily bulgy this time, but there was a definite feeling of destiny to be had between my plow and her field if you get my drift. It came as absolutely no surprise to me that she looked better and I would also have to earn it by kicking some brigand butt nearby. It’d be a cheap source of income too; I imagine all that leather these types like to wear was going completely to waste on something as gross as men. The resell value of stuff like that back to the farms, alongside their weapons and any other materials they had, alone would set me well for the beginning section of the game.
Remember, it ain’t stealing if you don’t get caught. Or you kick their asses first. And especially if they deserve it, which if you’re scaring women, let’s face it, you definitely deserve it.
“They’re out north around the path from the big fruit orchards and...” I was only half listening to the town boss, my eyes too busy looking at her cleavage and wondering when I could dig in, and just gave an overenthusiastic nod as I agreed to take these punks out and see if that earned me any sort of sowing my seed privileges around here. That’s why it came as absolutely no surprise to anyone that I got lost even on a simple dirt country road looking for these stupid assholes.
Look, I saw tan titties and I was going to fuck them before sundown, so if they would just show themselves…
That was a great idea, self! I started shouting so maybe they’d come to me, throwing out various vague comments about dick size and how mine’s bigger (I hadn’t actually gotten a good look at myself yet, having been desperate to just rest earlier, but being the protagonist I assured myself I must be the biggest in the game, right? Nobody’s allowed to be more endowed than the hero, after all) and you couldn’t fuck a woman with that thing even if she were more shallow than a raindrop and…
Nothing. Of course. I sighed and scratched my head. Something was really wrong with this. Or I was being railroaded, and not in the fun way I wish that elf back at the village would do to me. Tightquiver, I’ll bet, we’ll see how that is when I show her proof I’d killed every single last one of these cowardly bastards. If this Overlord was even half what the goddess said, what need did they have to be threatening women anyhow? Aren’t they the ones in charge? Couldn’t they just come in and, you know, Bad Things happening? Or did they know I was coming? Surely I’d yelled enough by now.
As I sat around thinking and sighing and opening my menu and back again after realizing no map item existed in my inventory yet, not even a little guide one in the corner, wanting to kick myself in my magic balls for not paying more attention to what she was saying than what she was sporting, I heard a distant voice shout at me.
“Nice ass, stud.”
I was almost about to take umbrage at this, almost, because when you’re trying to kill someone to get laid the last thing you want is a distraction, even if you would agree normally you got a pretty great ass, squats with weights in armor will give you one that could choke out a goddess, when I went to turn around and yell.
“And how would you know?” I shouted back.
“It’s sticking out! I can see your loincloth thong but otherwise it’s all loose and hanging. What, finally decide to give up pants for the New Year or something? I would have thought you’d wait for me first or something.”
I put my hands on my own ass, and sure enough, those idiot horny goddesses forgot to give me any sort of real leg protection outside of my pretty kickass looking greaves. It was that and then bare thigh and ass up to my loincloth tie and belt. I’d ask what this was for, but the fact it got spotted and called out on specifically was enough of an answer for me.
“Oh. So it is. Was wondering why my Brisket was feeling a tad frosty.”
“It’s past noon, Atma, unless you’ve been sitting on ice to make sure you don’t sleep with anyone on the first date, which would shame me deeply to know you’ve started such a thing up, I dunno why it’d be anything but hot as hell.”
Wait, it took me a bit, but after processing what I was hearing, I turned around, my brain finally managing to put two and two together, one two being the voice, and the other two being the attitude, and piecing together that mayhap I am not the only one I knew to be called upon to save the land of Femrysca from whatever happy funtime magical JRPG bullshit was happening now.
“Samantha?”
“Yeah, stud.”
“No wonder you knew my name. And won’t stop staring.”
“Wait until you see me, though. I mean, clearly this world did something to you to make you look important, but, well...”
I finally stopped and gave her a good look. I knew her as one of my tallest girlfriends in reality, but here? I thought I was joking by calling her an ogre sometimes. She was now an actual oni, guitar on her back, though I didn’t know that oni were fond of denim and basic band tshirts. I had to wonder what kind of defensive value that was offering against my own, not that I had any room to talk with my enchanted ass hanging out in public. Is this why the NPCs in town couldn’t stop following me around? They not ever see a valkyrie before? Or is this beef just too juicy?
“The fuck? How come you get to be the oni and I’m stuck playing Bizarrely Racist 90s Japanese VHS Fansub Inspired Red Sonja?”
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”
“Whatever. So, did you wake up with three goddesses sticking their magic fingers up you and giving you any kind of magic genital bullshit or…?”
“If by that you mean it’s like getting free surgery or landing in a lady body since birth, definitely, though with you I know you mean that literally. What kind of goddess is this and where can we find them?”
“The sky, and hell no I’m not going back. They got me flustered, didn’t answer anything, gave me a sword and a dick and just told me to go beat up the Overlord.”
“Overlord?”
“Yeah apparently he’s making the men run rampant over all womankind and only I can stop him and bring happiness to women ever again because in reality I drank the most respect women juice, or something. Then they booted me down here and just expected me to find my way. Rude if you ask me. I hope I’m done with that part of this.”
“No you don’t.”
“I’m going to kick your ass, dear. Now, I’m looking for a damn bandit cave, you seen any suspicious holes in the side of anything hard lately? If I kick their asses, I can get severely laid by the town leader.”
“Heh, hard. And yeah, that’s just a bit further on. I woke up not too far from it myself. Shall we team up and kick them out and see if you can’t at least get me sloppy seconds, hero? Because if I’m not mistaken, you’re definitely dressed for the role and if the goddesses trust you that much, I clearly can’t be the protagonist.”
“Yeah, sure, welcome to the party, just don’t expect much in the way of inventory of Gold right now. Game’s as fucking stingy as any PlayStation era JRPG in giving me anything to start with.”
With that, Samantha, or as her menu listed her as, Anthy, joined my party. I immediately read her stat page and noted she didn’t have as much defense as me, but dressing casually sure gives you a nice speed bonus. I’m not sure that’s based on any actual applicable real science, or even any fake kind of science. Not that either of us were good at that topic, we’d need someone much smarter than that to explain it to us.
What we were good at though was clearing out mass amounts of random small mobs and bringing in enough money for not just one, but two potions at once! Wow, who won the fucking lottery around here? A couple level ups later lead us into the bandit cave, which was pretty sparse and basic in layout, as to be expected from both a low level hideout and from a bunch of single cishet dudes. Not a single one of them even had up a titty poster, because it turns out it’s really fucking hard to do that on a rock cave wall, even with that sticky poster backing stuff.
What they did have plenty of though is cheap shit to amass in a sell pile and all their armor and weapons to bring back to the women to arm themselves with instead of just flannel tops tied off under their tits and pitchforks. You think in this kind of game or story it’d be hoes they’d set up with, but we hope we go a bit more quality than that in our localization. You deserve better.
Apparently these guys hadn’t even really heard of the Overlord, just about his command to give mankind their “due” and whatnot and were trying to bank in on it, not knowing that someone like me would be along almost instantly to completely wreck their shit, because their shit is now my shit, so it’s better than their shit. Their leader, your usual fat, hairy, one-eyed bandit with a giant axe and scimitar and yawn this guy was already a bore to describe was easily enticed into battle not out of the fact we were women, but the fact I had the idea to flash him my magic cock and insult him with my size. What a dumb bastard.
For our first boss fight, we just took turns mashing on that attack command like we were going to mash on that town leader shortly after, and used a potion maybe twice, Anthy using her guitar like an oni’s club and me sticking with the basic sword form of Lesbifrost. Within a handful of turns, he was down and we amassed a much nicer sum of money. Inside of a chest in the back was the world map, and finally I could see a way out of here and back to town, doing one last sweep to make sure we hadn’t forgotten anything.
The walk back was much easier now that we could see the way back, even if it was almost directly south a bit, and I gave the town leader the bandit leader’s weapons and armor as proof of our victory, and left behind the other girls in town what else we had oh so kindly liberated off the other bandits we’d found and kicked the dicks in of.
And so came a hero’s reward, and suddenly in great, explicit detail, I could feel every inch of this farmgirl heavy against me as she took me to her barn for a literal roll in the hay, making me take my dick out and ride her like a bull. The town’s name finally made sense because, well, it was still early game, and unfortunately for me, scenes like this aren’t nearly as long or detailed as later game porn scenes were, and I blew my load rather early on, but she was quite satisfied anyways, my body sweaty and reeling from just how intense that felt.
Anthy made do with some of the other girls as I took my reward, me idling a bit to make it seem like I lasted much longer, until we were invited to join the leader in bed together and I gave away my bluff by cumming again far too early and easily, for which I would be given no end of shit of for days.
After that, I passed out relatively hard, and the save menu got booted up and I overwrote my file.
All in a day’s work. And a night’s. I felt oddly refreshed and healed the next morning, though, as I said goodbye to the girls and promised I’d return, because after all, you can take the girl out of the farm, but you can’t take the farm out of the girl.
Nor could you take the Weapon out of the girl, either, because I let Anthy pack up as I got one more ride in. Hey, I’m the hero, I’m allowed to pull stunts like this now and again as I pull hair and ride. Just right in front of her, as if I was being a horrible inconvenience.
“I’m right here, you know.”
“I know damn well you are, look, I get three scenes out of the same starting woman! Maybe this quest is going to be worth something yet.”
“Yeah, it’s going to be worth our savings in child support, you goddamn stud. Now come on, let’s get out of here, I actually cared to talk to some of these girls after instead of just passing out like the almost man you are and found out that the Overlord is setting his eyes on the city of Alchemists, Afrodisia, a day or two’s walk east of here.”
“Shit, really?”
“Yes really, I mean, if I was the badguy I’d probably want in on that, too.”
“I meant the name.”
“Oh, yeah, I didn’t believe it either but given the name of this place...”
“When this is all said and done, remind me to ask who in the fuck founded this country.”
With our meager savings on us and our file saved and levels up, we began the journey eastward to Afrodisia. I was already beginning to lose any sort of hope that anything had a sane and stable name around here.
Said the woman named Valkyrie Weapon.