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heroicrecordsBecause we are cat.
Wordcount Today: 2627
Wordcount Total: 27739/50000
*~* AN INTERLUDE APPROACHES FAST *~*
I am the wonderful, amazing, and quite beautiful leader of this motley crew aboard this ship, the undeniably gray Captain Gabby. Or Capn Gabs. Just don't call me late for dinner. If you do not only will it be a horrible joke, but I will proceed to vomit on you. I have puked no less than three times since reuniting with my owner yesterday so don't think I can't because I will. It is a spray of hot, acidic justice from the infinite wonder of the abyss that is my gut. It is considered a breath weapon by most statistician whose belts are overloaded with dice and these little figures I like to knock over and sit on. Sometimes I eat them to contribute to the refinement of my puke ray. It helps more than you would think. Terribly dangerous life of Capn Gabby and all. I'm sure if you asked me I could fill up whole tomes, but a few pages in my owner's diary is more than enough for now, I think. If you ask nicely maybe I will deign you with an interview.
That's right, I rolled off the silly squire girl's lap after a bit and trotted on down to the cabins in which that dog of a paladin was snoring. Sounding like a dog, too. I don't know why she wasn't born a wolf, she looks and acts just like one, slobbering and humping legs. It's so uncivilized. But yes, I made my way down and took her diary out of her bag, finding some ink and dipping my paws in it so I could pen this message to you all. If you are reading this from the future, hello, I hope you still have fish. I would be sad if you didn't. I am curious as to why you would bother to read the racy diary of a silly human lady, but then again I don't understand human lusts.
Probably because when I was a kitten I underwent an operation in the Tanjil basement castle and woke up deciding I never wanted babies. My tummy was itchy a bit and I had to wear a stupid cone. I think I am angrier at the cone than I am at anything else in my life. Don't cone me. Don't tread on me! But enough about that, I am here to tell you about what it is like to be a Gabby. Being a Gabby involves a lot of work you don't get to see otherwise and I feel like you should be educated on these matters.
I am a Gabuki, a fat monstrous species of feline with amazingly dense fur and an amazingly round body shape. I am mostly stomach. Sometimes I feel like I have leveled up when I eat monsters. I am cute and cuddly and probably a princess. I like laps and pets and puking. My job is to keep Tanjil free of vermin and to entertain the masses in my owner's absence. She is gone frequently due to being a paladin. I think she stabs things and offers them to gods. She should offer them to my stomach. I like calories. I don't think she understands how important that is. My paws are soft and my whiskers are very long and wiry, you could use them as lock picks but I am not a rogue so don't go asking me how it works. It's just something I heard someone say. I hope it is useful someday. I like to help but only if people acknowledge I am the best because clearly I am.
Today I trotted around the ship and made my rounds as the captain, making sure everything was intact and running smooth. This way when my owner wakes up, whenever that is as she tends to sleep a lot when she drinks this gross smelly foamy stuff a lot, she will see I have kept things going well and will give me food. There's more than enough in the store room and I am sure we will make a few stops to refuel along the way, there's no excuse not to go check out the restaurants in that case. If only so they all can go have mating rituals after ingesting the foamy stuff. If they don't bring me back the leftovers, then I will meow at their door in the middle of their private time and they will not forget me again. I know because I did this once. The look on my owner's face was priceless and she has since not forgotten to bring me a food. Food is the most important meal of the day.
I saw that short lady driving the ship. She has these long hair braids coming off the back of her head, so I tapped one and batted it around a while. I don't think she noticed for a bit, she was too busy talking about her school days with my owner. Seems they're old friends who lost touch for a while, though I assume the touching resumed soon after they met back up. I think what got her attention is when I flipped her braid over her head, making it hard for her to steer. She told me to scat, cat, so I trotted along until I snorted at the squire lady. She should be happy I already used my litter box today or I would have taken her scat command seriously.
She just pet me on the nose and said she had some thinking to do. Well, couldn't she pet me more while she was doing it? It doesn't require hands to think, just a brain, and she wasn't going to pet me with a brain. That would be sticky in my fur. I nuzzled her leg just in case it was a bad thought and made my way over to Saja. She is a cat too but she is also a person! It's kind of neat. This world is full of people and I like anyone with a tail. Except mine is much prettier. I got up next to her and bopped my head back and forth, swaying in the light breeze that came in with the ship moving, mrowing and wagging my tail. I always felt like I was with my own kind around her, even if she was a bit different, I had someone I could wiggle a whisker at and have them totally get what that means. We sat for a while, just hanging out and being cats. Cats is good. I like being a cat. But she soon fell victim to wanting to take a nap in the sun on top of the deck. I know that feel, my soul sister.
I followed her into a nap and woke up a short bit later, wiggling my head back and forth again as I went to see this Mali person. I only just met her drumming behind Lanzo. I should probably get to know her and have her respect my authority as this ship's captain. I went below deck where she was fidgeting about, her tail up and spiked, looking anxious. I simply mrowed at her in an confident tone. She jumped and sweat a bit, looking around before trying to shoo me out. Said something about how I would blow her cover if I stayed around so I shrugged and went on my way. I wonder if it has anything to do with her peering into my owner's bedroom. Maybe she is making sure she doesn't have bad dreams.
I would have said hi to Lanzo but he was asleep too, licking his big dumb wolf lips as he dreamed, tail wagging slow and his dumb self taking up way too much space. Instead I sat on him and enjoyed a slightly higher view than normal. I am the boss and the dog is going to have to learn to put up with it. Stupid smelly wolf. I bat my tail on his stomach but I don't think he noticed. He's built about as big as this ship is.
With that done, I returned to the deck triumphant, yet oddly empty. I am disappointed I do not have a captain's hat. I will search one out when we land in a town. I must have my rank recognized. And then when it is, I will be surrounded by food. Maybe change my job class and grind this a bit so I can get even more food and money after battle. It would be good of me to contribute to my crew too so they don't get rowdy. I don't want to get thrown overboard. I would probably just bounce once I hit the ground but I still don't think it would be too fun. I like having my own crew of petting slaves to adore me.
Maybe if I took a piece of paper out of this journal and folded myself a hat it would work but that would require having thumbs. I don't think there's any way to tell any of these people in my cat language how to do it either. Saja might but I can't interrupt a sun nap, that would be blasphemy of the highest order. Instead, I should probably just wait it out, no matter how miserable it makes me. They have to listen to my owner anyways so they will just have to salute to the captain's hat in my soul.
I also seem to see something slowly heading for us on the horizon. I hope it's a bird, or a ship full of birds, some bird would be good for dinner. We can trade them for some not-birds. Or take them over and not have to trade a bit! That would be super good too. I know my owner could do it while I snuck on board to see how much tasty treats they had.
If this is my ship, though, I should make it rightfully mine and mark it. I do feel a bit full down there. I suppose this is farewell then, journal, and I hope anyone reading this is able to understand Gabuki speak and can educate the masses about our daily trials. Please adopt a Gabuki today and treat them right. By which I mean don't forget to feed them.
I leave the diplomacy of talking to whatever is heading our way to those with better vocabularies.
*~* AN INTERLUDE IS END *~*
Millia sighed, picking up Gabby by the scruff as she noticed her raising a leg to piss on the doorway to the storage room. “Just what do you think you're doing, cat?” she asked, sounding shocked as Gabby put her paws up as if to say “I'm innocent!” and showing how ink coated they were. The squire squinted hard at the cat, looking at the ink paws and down, seeing a little trail left by this urine-happy criminal and following it, Gabby in hand, to the diary left on the deck. A few pages were coated in paw prints and scratch marks, leaving the previous entries alone and leaving the rest of the book intact. How she managed to get it out is one story, but how she also managed to keep her destruction so well contained is another.
“Go to your litter box!” Millia hissed, setting the cat down and watching her scramble off hastily. She sighed and picked up the journal, trying her best to only take out the offending pages without noticing anything else in the journal. The last thing anyone wanted to know was the private thoughts of an already embarrassingly public person. Unfortunately, her youthful curiosity got the best of her and she caught a glimpse of a few paragraphs of a more recent entry.
Her expression was one of deep confusion mixed with a small helping of second hand embarrassment as she saw nothing but the dreams Siofra had. Lots of detail about how she would someday go to Labrysinnia and lay with every amazon in one night and how much she'd impress them or even just more mundane things like what appeared to be a story of her cooking a dragon for a hungry village and them offering the mayor's daughter as a reward. Since when did Siofra cook? Or want to cook? It was probably one of those skills she'd pick up just to impress people with, now that Millia thought about it. She would not be at all surprised to find out how many things she knew were simply to get her between bedsheets easier.
Curiosity got the best of her and she flipped through more and more pages, noticing a trend of increasingly detailed stories about herself that probably never happened or ones involving others. More recent ones involved the squire, making blush and squirm a bit. How rude of her boss. But she also saw that every now and again, she mentioned a nightmare. She'd not give detail as to what it was, but it appeared to be the same one that happened every now and again. It must have upset her if it made her stay quiet the rest of that entry. It was simply a mention of it and nothing more. If her boss was having problems, she would hope she would trust her squire enough to confide in her as she did back at her family's castle.
She closed it and looked around, trying to figure out how to parse this, noticing something vaguely ship shaped on the horizon. Millia hated to do this, but she'd have to wake her boss up early. If anyone could speak with the captain and get them away from potential trouble, it would be her, mostly because she hadn't gotten to know the other girls yet enough to ask. After nodding to the other girls to stay on course, she made her way back down the cabin and slowly entered Siofra's room, watching her as she snored and covered her own eyes like an animal, whimpering a bit. Millia tilted her head and put the journal down, gently laying a hand on Siofra's side and nudging her a bit.
“Milady, wake up. I hate to rouse you, but a ship is approaching and we've no idea if it's friend or foe.”
Siofra squinted and groaned, still mostly asleep, latching onto Millia's hand and whining a bit. “Ahh, no, don't leave. I'm sorry.”
Millia just shook her again, making note of her plea. “I'm not going anywhere. But we need you, my liege. Wake up, a ship is approaching. Pretty please?”
The knight finally pried one eye open and yawned. “Ahhg, what? What's going on?” mumbled Siofra. “Who's boarding a what now?”
“Good, you're awake, I'll give you a minute and...”
Millia's words were cut short by a sudden loud clanging and jerking of the ship, spilling the knight out onto her head, only serving to piss her off as she bolted awake. “Well, seems someone's said fuck you to your kindness, my squire. What a rude awakening! Hand me my blade, I'm going out to clean this up.”
After a bit of scrambling for it, Millia handed Siofra her belt and sword, strapping her shield onto her left arm just in case. “Back me up, I feel like I'm going to need it.” The knight stood up, brushed herself off, and made her way gallantly out the cabins and up the stairs, snarling.
Unfortunately for her, she left before Millia could warn her she had naught but her underwear still on. At least it might make negotiations interesting. She followed quick, eager to both help and watch what was about to ensue.
Wordcount Today: 2627
Wordcount Total: 27739/50000
I am the wonderful, amazing, and quite beautiful leader of this motley crew aboard this ship, the undeniably gray Captain Gabby. Or Capn Gabs. Just don't call me late for dinner. If you do not only will it be a horrible joke, but I will proceed to vomit on you. I have puked no less than three times since reuniting with my owner yesterday so don't think I can't because I will. It is a spray of hot, acidic justice from the infinite wonder of the abyss that is my gut. It is considered a breath weapon by most statistician whose belts are overloaded with dice and these little figures I like to knock over and sit on. Sometimes I eat them to contribute to the refinement of my puke ray. It helps more than you would think. Terribly dangerous life of Capn Gabby and all. I'm sure if you asked me I could fill up whole tomes, but a few pages in my owner's diary is more than enough for now, I think. If you ask nicely maybe I will deign you with an interview.
That's right, I rolled off the silly squire girl's lap after a bit and trotted on down to the cabins in which that dog of a paladin was snoring. Sounding like a dog, too. I don't know why she wasn't born a wolf, she looks and acts just like one, slobbering and humping legs. It's so uncivilized. But yes, I made my way down and took her diary out of her bag, finding some ink and dipping my paws in it so I could pen this message to you all. If you are reading this from the future, hello, I hope you still have fish. I would be sad if you didn't. I am curious as to why you would bother to read the racy diary of a silly human lady, but then again I don't understand human lusts.
Probably because when I was a kitten I underwent an operation in the Tanjil basement castle and woke up deciding I never wanted babies. My tummy was itchy a bit and I had to wear a stupid cone. I think I am angrier at the cone than I am at anything else in my life. Don't cone me. Don't tread on me! But enough about that, I am here to tell you about what it is like to be a Gabby. Being a Gabby involves a lot of work you don't get to see otherwise and I feel like you should be educated on these matters.
I am a Gabuki, a fat monstrous species of feline with amazingly dense fur and an amazingly round body shape. I am mostly stomach. Sometimes I feel like I have leveled up when I eat monsters. I am cute and cuddly and probably a princess. I like laps and pets and puking. My job is to keep Tanjil free of vermin and to entertain the masses in my owner's absence. She is gone frequently due to being a paladin. I think she stabs things and offers them to gods. She should offer them to my stomach. I like calories. I don't think she understands how important that is. My paws are soft and my whiskers are very long and wiry, you could use them as lock picks but I am not a rogue so don't go asking me how it works. It's just something I heard someone say. I hope it is useful someday. I like to help but only if people acknowledge I am the best because clearly I am.
Today I trotted around the ship and made my rounds as the captain, making sure everything was intact and running smooth. This way when my owner wakes up, whenever that is as she tends to sleep a lot when she drinks this gross smelly foamy stuff a lot, she will see I have kept things going well and will give me food. There's more than enough in the store room and I am sure we will make a few stops to refuel along the way, there's no excuse not to go check out the restaurants in that case. If only so they all can go have mating rituals after ingesting the foamy stuff. If they don't bring me back the leftovers, then I will meow at their door in the middle of their private time and they will not forget me again. I know because I did this once. The look on my owner's face was priceless and she has since not forgotten to bring me a food. Food is the most important meal of the day.
I saw that short lady driving the ship. She has these long hair braids coming off the back of her head, so I tapped one and batted it around a while. I don't think she noticed for a bit, she was too busy talking about her school days with my owner. Seems they're old friends who lost touch for a while, though I assume the touching resumed soon after they met back up. I think what got her attention is when I flipped her braid over her head, making it hard for her to steer. She told me to scat, cat, so I trotted along until I snorted at the squire lady. She should be happy I already used my litter box today or I would have taken her scat command seriously.
She just pet me on the nose and said she had some thinking to do. Well, couldn't she pet me more while she was doing it? It doesn't require hands to think, just a brain, and she wasn't going to pet me with a brain. That would be sticky in my fur. I nuzzled her leg just in case it was a bad thought and made my way over to Saja. She is a cat too but she is also a person! It's kind of neat. This world is full of people and I like anyone with a tail. Except mine is much prettier. I got up next to her and bopped my head back and forth, swaying in the light breeze that came in with the ship moving, mrowing and wagging my tail. I always felt like I was with my own kind around her, even if she was a bit different, I had someone I could wiggle a whisker at and have them totally get what that means. We sat for a while, just hanging out and being cats. Cats is good. I like being a cat. But she soon fell victim to wanting to take a nap in the sun on top of the deck. I know that feel, my soul sister.
I followed her into a nap and woke up a short bit later, wiggling my head back and forth again as I went to see this Mali person. I only just met her drumming behind Lanzo. I should probably get to know her and have her respect my authority as this ship's captain. I went below deck where she was fidgeting about, her tail up and spiked, looking anxious. I simply mrowed at her in an confident tone. She jumped and sweat a bit, looking around before trying to shoo me out. Said something about how I would blow her cover if I stayed around so I shrugged and went on my way. I wonder if it has anything to do with her peering into my owner's bedroom. Maybe she is making sure she doesn't have bad dreams.
I would have said hi to Lanzo but he was asleep too, licking his big dumb wolf lips as he dreamed, tail wagging slow and his dumb self taking up way too much space. Instead I sat on him and enjoyed a slightly higher view than normal. I am the boss and the dog is going to have to learn to put up with it. Stupid smelly wolf. I bat my tail on his stomach but I don't think he noticed. He's built about as big as this ship is.
With that done, I returned to the deck triumphant, yet oddly empty. I am disappointed I do not have a captain's hat. I will search one out when we land in a town. I must have my rank recognized. And then when it is, I will be surrounded by food. Maybe change my job class and grind this a bit so I can get even more food and money after battle. It would be good of me to contribute to my crew too so they don't get rowdy. I don't want to get thrown overboard. I would probably just bounce once I hit the ground but I still don't think it would be too fun. I like having my own crew of petting slaves to adore me.
Maybe if I took a piece of paper out of this journal and folded myself a hat it would work but that would require having thumbs. I don't think there's any way to tell any of these people in my cat language how to do it either. Saja might but I can't interrupt a sun nap, that would be blasphemy of the highest order. Instead, I should probably just wait it out, no matter how miserable it makes me. They have to listen to my owner anyways so they will just have to salute to the captain's hat in my soul.
I also seem to see something slowly heading for us on the horizon. I hope it's a bird, or a ship full of birds, some bird would be good for dinner. We can trade them for some not-birds. Or take them over and not have to trade a bit! That would be super good too. I know my owner could do it while I snuck on board to see how much tasty treats they had.
If this is my ship, though, I should make it rightfully mine and mark it. I do feel a bit full down there. I suppose this is farewell then, journal, and I hope anyone reading this is able to understand Gabuki speak and can educate the masses about our daily trials. Please adopt a Gabuki today and treat them right. By which I mean don't forget to feed them.
I leave the diplomacy of talking to whatever is heading our way to those with better vocabularies.
Millia sighed, picking up Gabby by the scruff as she noticed her raising a leg to piss on the doorway to the storage room. “Just what do you think you're doing, cat?” she asked, sounding shocked as Gabby put her paws up as if to say “I'm innocent!” and showing how ink coated they were. The squire squinted hard at the cat, looking at the ink paws and down, seeing a little trail left by this urine-happy criminal and following it, Gabby in hand, to the diary left on the deck. A few pages were coated in paw prints and scratch marks, leaving the previous entries alone and leaving the rest of the book intact. How she managed to get it out is one story, but how she also managed to keep her destruction so well contained is another.
“Go to your litter box!” Millia hissed, setting the cat down and watching her scramble off hastily. She sighed and picked up the journal, trying her best to only take out the offending pages without noticing anything else in the journal. The last thing anyone wanted to know was the private thoughts of an already embarrassingly public person. Unfortunately, her youthful curiosity got the best of her and she caught a glimpse of a few paragraphs of a more recent entry.
Her expression was one of deep confusion mixed with a small helping of second hand embarrassment as she saw nothing but the dreams Siofra had. Lots of detail about how she would someday go to Labrysinnia and lay with every amazon in one night and how much she'd impress them or even just more mundane things like what appeared to be a story of her cooking a dragon for a hungry village and them offering the mayor's daughter as a reward. Since when did Siofra cook? Or want to cook? It was probably one of those skills she'd pick up just to impress people with, now that Millia thought about it. She would not be at all surprised to find out how many things she knew were simply to get her between bedsheets easier.
Curiosity got the best of her and she flipped through more and more pages, noticing a trend of increasingly detailed stories about herself that probably never happened or ones involving others. More recent ones involved the squire, making blush and squirm a bit. How rude of her boss. But she also saw that every now and again, she mentioned a nightmare. She'd not give detail as to what it was, but it appeared to be the same one that happened every now and again. It must have upset her if it made her stay quiet the rest of that entry. It was simply a mention of it and nothing more. If her boss was having problems, she would hope she would trust her squire enough to confide in her as she did back at her family's castle.
She closed it and looked around, trying to figure out how to parse this, noticing something vaguely ship shaped on the horizon. Millia hated to do this, but she'd have to wake her boss up early. If anyone could speak with the captain and get them away from potential trouble, it would be her, mostly because she hadn't gotten to know the other girls yet enough to ask. After nodding to the other girls to stay on course, she made her way back down the cabin and slowly entered Siofra's room, watching her as she snored and covered her own eyes like an animal, whimpering a bit. Millia tilted her head and put the journal down, gently laying a hand on Siofra's side and nudging her a bit.
“Milady, wake up. I hate to rouse you, but a ship is approaching and we've no idea if it's friend or foe.”
Siofra squinted and groaned, still mostly asleep, latching onto Millia's hand and whining a bit. “Ahh, no, don't leave. I'm sorry.”
Millia just shook her again, making note of her plea. “I'm not going anywhere. But we need you, my liege. Wake up, a ship is approaching. Pretty please?”
The knight finally pried one eye open and yawned. “Ahhg, what? What's going on?” mumbled Siofra. “Who's boarding a what now?”
“Good, you're awake, I'll give you a minute and...”
Millia's words were cut short by a sudden loud clanging and jerking of the ship, spilling the knight out onto her head, only serving to piss her off as she bolted awake. “Well, seems someone's said fuck you to your kindness, my squire. What a rude awakening! Hand me my blade, I'm going out to clean this up.”
After a bit of scrambling for it, Millia handed Siofra her belt and sword, strapping her shield onto her left arm just in case. “Back me up, I feel like I'm going to need it.” The knight stood up, brushed herself off, and made her way gallantly out the cabins and up the stairs, snarling.
Unfortunately for her, she left before Millia could warn her she had naught but her underwear still on. At least it might make negotiations interesting. She followed quick, eager to both help and watch what was about to ensue.